


deep end of a dream

by melancholydreadfuldream



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Dark Doctor (Doctor Who), F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:48:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25013431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melancholydreadfuldream/pseuds/melancholydreadfuldream
Summary: You were in love with the Doctor but unfortunately the Doctor couldn’t make up his mind between his feeling for you and for River. When an accident resulting in creation of another Doctor, will that be the answer everyone is hoping for?
Relationships: Eleventh Doctor/Reader, Ganger Eleventh Doctor/Reader, The Doctor (Doctor Who)/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27





	deep end of a dream

**Fandom: Doctor Who**

**Pairing: 11th Doctor x Reader & Ganger!Doctor x reader**

**Summary: You were in love with the Doctor but unfortunately the Doctor couldn’t make up his mind between his feeling for you and for River. When an accident resulting in creation of another Doctor, will that be the answer everyone is hoping for?**

**_Warning: ooc, angst, plot holes as usual, dark!doctor, etc. You have been warned._ **

**_More warning: English is not my first language so beware of the headache you will receive upon reading this._ **

“Y-you are leaving the Tardis? Where are you going?”

He smiled as he show you a vortex manipulator. “Cheap time travel but this will do. I can go anywhere anytime.”

“B-but…” You felt unwillingness to part with him. 

“Two doctors in one Tardis? That could never work out.” The ganger Doctor turned stabilized said. “I can’t stay here.” He took a step toward you, taking one of your hands in his. “I was hoping you would come with me.”

Your mouth dropped open in shock.

“I mean I know I’m not the real Doctor…”

“You _are_ the Doctor.” You insisted.

He smiled solemnly. “You told him before that you are leaving him…leaving the Tardis.”

You did say that to the original Doctor before he took you and the Ponds to the flesh factory. You are done waiting for him, waiting for a man who could never love you properly. 

“Come with me.” The ganger Doctor pleaded.

You didn’t know what to say.

7777

You have been with the Doctor longer than any other companion. You first met the Doctor in his tenth incarnation while he was with Rose. You soon fell in love with the Doctor but has to endure heartbreak as he only has eyes for Rose. After losing Rose, the Doctor dropped you at home and didn’t come back for you for a long while. He said you are better off without him. You pleaded him to let you stay but he cruelly ignored you.

You met the Doctor on board of the valiant courtesy of the Master. The Master somehow found out about your feeling for the Doctor and use it against you and the Doctor. You were there as a hostage and as the Master’s plaything. He likes to rub it that the Doctor doesn’t love you. He basically outed your pathetic feeling for the Doctor.

It was a very long and painful year. You were forced to watch as the Master torture the Doctor, regressed him into a sort of aged creature and put him in a cage as added humiliation. You met Jack, an immortal and a former companion of the Doctor. He was a hostage as well and his fate is worst than you. The Master likes to be variable in his method of torture. And yet, Jack is brave and still laughed in face of repeated tortures and deaths.

Then you met Martha, the woman who walked the Earth, the storyteller, the one who saved the Doctor and the world. Like you, Martha was in love with the Doctor but the Doctor still hung up on Rose. After time is reset, Martha decided to stop travelling with the Doctor. 

The Doctor apologized to you for getting you involved with his mess. You were sure he would turn you away again but instead he asked you to travel again with him and like the besotted fool you are, you agreed. But the two of you never talked about the elephant in the room which is your outed feeling for the Doctor. Both of you pretended that it didn’t happen. But it was hard for you, traveling with the Doctor, interacting with him, discovering his many adorable quirk that made your feeling for him strengthen.

Eventually, Donna joined you and the Doctor. She recognized your feeling for the Doctor immediately and she is being supportive of you despite you telling her about your love rival, Rose.

During one of your routine adventure with Doctor and Donna, you met River Song. River seemed to know who you are and acted as if you and her are friends despite you have no idea who she is. You got jealous at how River confidently talked and keep up with the Doctor. You and Donna got uploaded inside CAL. After the Doctor saved everyone, you learned that River is dead and you felt guilty for being jealous of her before. That woman died to save everyone.

Donna often likes to push you and the Doctor together. During a visit at Midnight, Donna pushes you to take a trip with the Doctor instead of spending time at the spa with her. You got under thrall of an unknown creature that possessed another passenger and the Doctor had to save you from it while stopping the rest of the passengers from trying to have you thrown out of the cabin.

He kissed you and took the infection off you, rendering himself under the creature’s thrall. You tried to save him too but it was futile. You tried to calm down everyone but it was like all of them has lost their rational mind. When you both finally survived the creature, you could only hugged each other in relief. You cried and accidentally tell him that you love him. But he was too distracted to respond.

Many things happened so fast after that. Earth got stolen and Rose come back. So you and the Doctor never got a chance to talk about it. You don’t know whether to feel sad or relief, after all, knowing your feeling is unrequited. It hurts watching the Doctor and Rose reunited. You could see how much they love each other through their interaction.

Then, metacrisis Doctor Donna happened. After saving the universe, the Doctor left Rose and Metacrisis Doctor back on the paralel universe. You and the Doctor had to say goodbye to Donna whose memory got erased. You insisted of staying with the Doctor. You can’t bear to let him be alone. Luckily, he didn’t fight you about staying.

He was lonely still. You weren’t enough for him. You know this. It hurts. You let him use you. He soaked in your love for him.

You stayed with him through his regeneration into the bow-tied man that you will eventually love too. Inside the crashing Tardis, you fell into the swimming pool and got a concussion for it. The newly-regenerated Doctor is very worried for you.

You were wary of the new Doctor but he was very affectionate with you. He fussed over you. He treated your head wound. You eventually accepted that he is still the Doctor you know, just a little bit difference, well, a lot difference.

The Doctor invited Amy to board the Tardis. You and Amy get along alright. She notices immediately about your feeling for the Doctor. You are wondering if you are really bad to keep your feeling a secret if anyone could know immediately.

This version of the Doctor really is too affectionate. He loves hugging or taking your hand in his firmly. Sometimes you could almost believe he is flirting with you. But, of course, the Doctor remained vague regarding your relationship. You might be making a mistake by staying. As you expected, the more you know this new Doctor, the more your feeling for him grow even more, one might say it was like a cancer.

You and the Doctor met River again. Your heart is broken again when you heard the Doctor confirmed Amy’s teasing that River is indeed his future wife. But the threat of the weeping angels distracted you enough from letting yourself drown in misery.

River is very nice with you, still saying that you and her are friends. When you two are alone, you decided to ask whether she is really married to the Doctor. She only gave you a really annoyingly vague answer.

You are done. You wanted to leave the Doctor. You will not stay and pined for a married man. But River seemed to figure out your line of thinking and pleaded you to stay. She said the Doctor need you and that someday you will have to save the Doctor. You don’t know if she is lying however you have no choice but to stay in case she really is saying the truth.

Afterward you tried to keep your distant with the Doctor. Both the Doctor and Amy noticed. Amy tried to comfort you, knowing your reasoning.

Rory eventually joined inside the Tardis too. It’s getting kind of crowded in the Tardis but you didn’t mind. You also get along nice with Rory.

While the Doctor and Amy are kind a bit reckless, you and Rory become their voice of reason…somewhat. You would even said you and Rory are probably the sane ones. The Doctor and Amy would jump and greet dangers together while laughing a bit like maniac. They often ganged up against you and Rory, calling you both the boring ones.

7777

“The Doctor is a selfish old man. You will be waiting for a long time for him, poor little (name).” The Dream Lord had mocked you. “And he will let you wait for him instead of letting you go. He is _that_ cruel.”

You hated that everyone seemed to know your feeling for the Doctor. 

“You are right, little (name), he is like a cancer. You better run before he takes over you completely.” He said.

He is reading your mind. How can he be reading your mind like this?

“But I suppose, it was already too late for you, eh?”

When they finally defeated the Dream Lord, you can’t help but wonder if the Doctor can read other people’s mind after he admitted that the Dream Lord is in fact a darker version of himself.

7777

Tears falling from your cheeks as you watched the somewhat weary Doctor sitting inside Pandorica, readying himself to fly toward the exploding Tardis.

River had explained that when he did that, he will be erased from time. You can’t accept that but it is not like your opinion matters to him. 

The Doctor looked a bit sad when you said that to him. “You always matters to me and I do listen to you but in this case, you know it is the only way.”

You wiped your tears furiously. “River said you can’t come back…that you will be trapped on the wrong side… We would have never met at all.” You whispered with a crack in your voice as more tears falling from your cheeks.

He smiled as he put a hand over your cheek. “Oh, my dearest (name)…I’m sorry…It seemed that I always ended up hurting you…”

You blinked at him in confusion before you realized he was talking about your feeling for him. You tried to smile. “It’s alright, Doctor, I know you don’t feel the same for me. I’m just glad that you let me stay. Being with you…”

“…is hurting you and yet you stays with me through everything…” The Doctor cut in. He looked at you with a sad look. “I don’t deserve you.”

You shook your head at that. “Don’t say that. It was my choice to stay with you. You show me the wonder of the universe and more. I would always be grateful for that. I love you, Doctor, I’m not sorry that I do and…you shouldn’t either. I don’t regret you so please don’t…” You trailed.

He smiled as he drew you closer and kissed your forehead. “Live a good life, my (name), find your happiness no matter what happen…” He murmured to you.

You left him and told Amy to go to the Doctor.

“People fall out of the world sometimes, but they- they always leave traces, little things you can’t quite account for. Nothing is ever forgotten, not completely, and, if something can be remembered, it _can_ come back.” You heard him says that to Amy.

River stood by your side. She was staring at the Doctor and Amy with a solemn look. Her eyes are glassy.

“It will be alright. He will come back.” You said to her suddenly. You don’t know why you said that. Maybe your faith in the Doctor is still strong, making you believe that he will overcome this and you need to share that faith with those who love him as you do.

River looked surprised at your words. She smiled kindly at you and took one of your hand in hers.

The world exploded and rebooted. Everything felt like it was spiraled out of your control. When you come to, you were sitting in your favorite park bench with a book in your hands. You blinked as you tried to shake off the feeling of loss and grief within your heart but you have no idea why you felt like that.

As you stared blankly at space, you heard the wheezing sound of the Tardis. At first, you are confused as you no longer recognized that sound. Then the blue box appeared a few feet away from you and your memory started to return. You dropped your book as you stood up and walked cautiously toward the box.

The Doctor, dressed in a suit and a top hat, walked out of the Tardis. “Come on, (name), we will miss Amy and Rory’s wedding.” He said.

“Doctor?” You whispered. 

He smiled brightly at you.

You walked toward him and tentatively touched his arms as if wanting to make sure he is real. Tears filled your eyes once more and you hugged him tight. He hugged you back, rubbed your back in gesture of comfort before he pulled you inside the Tardis.

He explained to you how Amy brought him back just as he predicted. He had just been crashing the Pond’s reception and he was trying to move the Tardis out of the ballroom for space. It was then he come back for you.

As you got out of the Tardis and into the ballroom with the Doctor, Amy grinned and pulled you into a hug. “I’m so glad you are here, (name).” she said.

You smiled at both Amy and Rory. You complimented her. She looked beautiful in her wedding dress. The two of you had a good laugh when you both saw how the Doctor danced a giraffe dance with the kids. 

You smiled fondly as you watched Amy and Rory danced together. You are glad that they have got their happy ending.

The Doctor stood beside you with a fond smile. “2000 years. The boy who waited.” He said.

You noticed River outside the windows, smiling and then leaving. You told the Doctor that you saw her and the Doctor goes to her, saying something about having to return her diary to her. You watched him go with a somewhat bittersweet smile.

7777

The Doctor invited you to watch his death in Lake Silencio. How can he be this cruel? Both you and Amy can’t cope, seeing his painful death. Rory and River are the ones who still did as the Doctor told, still wanting to complete the mission given to them.

Then a younger version of the Doctor appeared before you screwing your mind even more. River explained it to you and the Ponds regarding the Doctor and the rule of time. She made you and the Ponds swore never to tell the Doctor about his death back in Lake Silencio.

In America, you have another talk with River. She insinuated that the Doctor has feeling for both you and River. But you already know that the Doctor would never pick you so why are you still insist to stay with him? Are you really this foolish? He is stringing you along just like the Dream Lord said. Are you this pathetic that you will let him do that forever?

You made up your mind about leaving the Doctor and the Tardis. It was time you stop waiting for a man who would never love you properly. You felt a bit guilty about leaving the Ponds to deal with the upcoming death of the Doctor but you found you no longer can stand be around him anymore. 

You told the Doctor about leaving. He look like a sad kicked puppy much to your guilt. He convinced you to stay until he can give you a proper last hurrah.

Next thing you know, there are two Doctors, one of them is a ganger. You tried to keep your distance from both Doctors. You thought it was the only way for you to leave, stop caring for the Doctor, harden your heart. But you found you couldn’t ignore the Doctor especially in the face of death so when the original Doctor decided to let the ganger Doctor stay behind to die, your mind just flashed back into that dreadful day at Lake Silencio and you just ‘nope’ so bad as you lost your marble and forced the ganger Doctor to come on board of the Tardis.

Of course you know, the ganger Doctor is just that, a ganger but the original Doctor is the one who treated the ganger as something more and now he’s just gonna let him die? The Doctor is the one who said a ganger has all their counterpart’s memories. The ganger Doctor is essentially the Doctor too, so how can you let him die?

You pleaded like crazy with the ganger Doctor not to sacrifice himself. The ganger Doctor tried to get you to go with the original Doctor, telling you that your Doctor is safe with you but there is no reasoning with you. He eventually relents when you gave him ultimatum to get inside the Tardis or you stay here with him and die together. Deep down, you were yelling at your stupidity but you could only feel relieved when he finally surrender to your wish for him to stay alive.

You heard the Doctor telling all the gangers on board of the Tardis about how the energy inside the time ship will stabilized them and made them a real person. You wondered if the ganger Doctor is a full Time Lord or become a human but you didn’t ask, still in somewhat shock state. You wondered what the original Doctor must think of you and how the ganger Doctor will fit in the Tardis. Maybe you messed this up but you could hardly regret the Doctor, any Doctor, for long.

There is no time to concern with the issue of ganger Doctor though when both Doctors finally revealed the truth about Amy being a ganger too.

7777

After rescuing Amy and losing baby Melody and to finding out River is Melody, you could finally have time to yourself. You wondered if leaving the Doctor is still something you wanted. 

River is on board of the Tardis and shamelessly flirted with both Doctors. 

You snorted to yourself. What were you thinking? Now that there are two Doctors, one of them will choose you? How stupid you can be? There is part of you who now wonder which Doctor died in that Lake Silencio, the original or the ganger? You wondered if your motive of rescuing ganger Doctor is as shallow as hoping one of them will pick you or as cruel as to have replacement Doctor to face death in Lake Silencio. But it was hardly your problem now. You decided you still have to leave.

That’s when the ganger Doctor come to you with his proposition. “Come with me, (name).” He pleaded.

Your mouth dropped open in shock. “W-why?”

He smiled. “I am alive because of you. Is it a wonder I would like to spend the rest of my life with you?”

“B-but…” You wanted to ask him about River but your mind stop you short. That was probably not a nice thing to ask. Of course, River will get to be with the original. The Doctor and River Song in the Tardis. You were always the spare and now it seemed this Doctor is too. 

He looked insecure now. “I understand if you didn’t want to. I just want a chance to be the man that you deserve.”

Without thinking, you pulled him closer and kissed him. As you broke the kiss, he stared at you solemnly before suddenly burst into adorable giggle which in turn make you smile.

7777

The ganger Doctor switched his name into John Noble. You smiled at his chosen surname in honor of Donna Noble. 

You and John traveled the universe every time you can but it was limited due to the limited ability of the vortex manipulator. He was working on making a better and safer version of vortex manipulator though.

You both picked a place to be called home since you both got no Tardis as home-base. He made your dream house, a small cottage with white picket fence and he even got you a dog. 

“How did you even get all of this?” You asked.

“I am still technically the Doctor, you know. I have friends in high place.” He said as he made a motion with his hands.

You laughed as you hugged your new pet companion. You and John had a funny banter about naming the dog. John insisted that he speaks dog and the dog wanted to be called some silly, really long name.

7777

You eventually married John. It was hard at first as you were still riddled with insecurity, believing that he will somehow grew tired of you and left on his own. He had assured you many times that he would never abandon you. He murmured about how he can hardly believe that the other Doctor actually let you go with him. You asked him what he is talking about but he distracted you with hug and kisses. You eventually believe him and accepted his marriage proposal.

“I wanted to grow old with you.” He told you.

That honestly the nicest thing the Doctor ever said to you, well, technically it wasn’t really the Doctor who said it. it was John. Suddenly your mind flashed back into Rose and metacrisis Doctor. Were the two of you similar to them in some way?

You have a happy marriage with John. There were some up and down. He, in some way, is the Doctor so naturally he can’t quite cope to stay in one place too long. Sometimes he took you to sightseeing and have your own adventure which thankfully does not include some deathly crisis. Sometimes he goes on his own, those days are hard for you, worrying he will not come back for you.

One day, he returned home injured. He was not alone. Jack Harkness is with him. You were surprised to see him again and really scared upon seeing the injured John. Apparently someone thought John is the Doctor and attempted to kill him. Had it not for Jack, he would have died. Thankfully, his injury is not fatal. In fact, one might say, he is quite lucky. You know John still have some Time Lord qualities in him, he can’t regenerate but he has a somewhat rapid healing ability.

Tears fell on your cheeks as you repeatedly punched John in his arms much to his dismay. “You are grounded forever, you jerk!” You yelled.

Jack is amused as he watched your interaction with John before the smile slide off his face. “You two need to hid. The world, right now, is against the Doctor and John having his face will not help his case.”

“What do you mean? What happened?” You demanded.

Jack and John exchanged a look with each other.

“It’s the Doctor.” Jack said grimly. “He did something.”

“Did what? What are you talking about?” You asked suddenly feeling scared on top of all the confusion.

“He is not the Doctor we used to know any longer, (name). He’s changed. And I didn’t mean he regenerated and has a change of personality again. I mean, he’s changed.” John said.

You stared at John. “You met him?”

John shook his head. “I didn’t. But I saw the trail of destruction he left behind.” He said grimly.

You stared blankly at your husband. “I’m sorry, did you just say a trail of destruction?”

John and Jack nodded somberly at you.

“No, you’re wrong. We are talking about the Doctor here. He is not…”

“You don’t know the Doctor as much as you think you do, (name).” John replied.

“But… John, you believe that the Doctor…you are capable of this…??”

“Well…” John laughed harshly. “…we didn’t get the name oncoming storm for nothing you know…”

You shook your head. “No. Something must have happened to him. Maybe someone controlled his mind. He would not do whatever it is you think he did.” You stubbornly said.

“(name)…” John called out with a sigh.

“No!” You left your husband and Jack as you went into the garden. 

You walked back and forth as you tried to come to term with what John had said. You picked up your smartphone and your fingers hovered over the Doctor’s Tardis number. You bit your lips and you called him on your phone.

John suddenly pulled your phone out of your hand and smashed it into the ground.

“John, what the hell!!” You were angry but when you saw his expression which is a mixture of anger and fear, you become speechless.

Jack entered the garden and told the both of you to run before the Doctor come for you both.

John nodded grimly as he grabbed his vortex manipulator and sonic screwdriver before turning to you and said, “I know you are afraid, (name) but you have to trust me. Please trust me.” He cupped your face as he is pleading for you to believe him.

“I do trust you, John.” You replied.

“Then you have to believe me. The Doctor is dangerous. He’s a changed. And now we need to run before he came for us.”

“He would not hurt us!” You said, almost offended.

John look saddened. “Maybe before. Now, I’m not so sure.”

What could possibly happened to the Doctor? You were very curious but also very afraid especially as you watched John loses his cool with each passing moments.

7777

You went on the run with John. He had used perception filter on the both of you. The people of the whole world is afraid of the Doctor but also they were trying to kill him. Since John had his face and everything, people might targeted him or might try to use him against the Doctor. He does has his memories. He could be a threat but mostly to the Doctor. As you realized this, you are very afraid for John.

While on the run, you started to find out exactly what you feared that the Doctor has somehow turned evil and has set many planet on the course of destruction. You wanted to cry. What happened to the Doctor for him to change this much? John had told you about a prophecy of the Valeyard, a version of the Doctor turned evil, and now it seemed the prophecy is finally here.

You are scared, wondering if your life with John will ever be safe again. There were a few times, people are able to see past the perception filter and that few times almost cost John his life. You almost hated the Doctor for putting you and John in deep end like this.

You and John eventually found a safe place to stay. Each night you hugged him tight, afraid that you will lose him for good.

7777

You put out the grocery on the table at the small house you and John rented. You thought this day would come and goes as usual (it wasn’t good but slightly okay) but of course the universe seemed to conspire against your happiness because as you went into the living room, you saw the Tardis. You gasped, feeling like someone just punch you in the gut.

“Hello, my dearest (name).”

You slowly turned around to face the Doctor. He was wearing a dark purple suit. His eyes looked weary but he was smiling at you like an old friend. “D-Doctor…”

“You looked good. John has taken a good care of you.” He said with approval.

“John, where is he? What did you do to him?” You demanded.

“John is safe…for now.”

You flinched at that. “W-what do you want, Doctor?”

He smiled as he walked toward you. His hand hovered over your cheek before settling to touch your hair instead. “I miss my best friend. Just pop up for a visit.”

You are shaking and he noticed it. 

He smiled in amusement but his eyes looked sad. “Seemed like you have heard some stories about me then…”

You took a step back away from him. “Please just leave me and John alone.”

“I would if I could, dearest (name), but John had to go against me after everything I did for him.” The Doctor said with disdain. “Gave him my first face and then he dare to go up against me?”

“W-what?”

The Doctor hummed. “I guess you didn’t know.”

“Know what?”

“That John has been aiding the resistance against me.”

You froze. John never told you that. He was always with you most of the time. How can he be aiding the resistance? But then again, part of you are not really surprised. John is the Doctor, after all, at least the part of the Doctor that is good. Is it a wonder that he will try to save the world from his other self? But you also want to slap him silly for putting himself in danger.

“Don’t hurt him.” You begged. “Please don’t hurt him.”

The Doctor tiled his head, observing you. “You love him.” He sighed. “I guess you do since you left me and married the man.”

You flinched again at what he is insinuating. “You had your chance. You choose River. He choose me.”

“I know.”

“Doctor, what happened to you?”

The Doctor laughed harshly. “Life, I guess. I lost the Ponds and I send River to the library a long time ago. Got a new companion. Clara Oswald. That impossible girl. You would have love her, (name), always keeping me on my toes, just like River.” He looked sad now. “Always saving me, just like River. She splintered herself, you know, just to save my life. Having to be reborn again and again and died for the Doctor. I saved the original but I lost her again.”

“What happened to her?” You asked. 

“They took her from me and made it impossible for me to save her. I made them pay for what they did.” He said with a faraway look on his face. “I’ve lost so much.” He whispered sadly. “No more.” He added grimly before turning his intense gaze on you.

You flinched under his gaze.

“Come with me.”

“W-what?”

“I need you, (name). You have always been there for me before. I hurt you so many times, ignoring your feeling for me, taking you for granted…and now I can’t stand be apart from you any longer.”

You shook your head. “N-no. I can’t be with you. I’m with John now.”

He looked sad when you said that and then a darker expression crossed his features. “You are happy with a cheap copy?” He laughed mockingly at you.

You glared at him. “He’s not a cheap copy! He is a better man than you are!”

The Doctor laughed again and stopped short. “I know.”

You stared at him in confusion with the way he acted. He said something cruel and the next he looked remorseful.

“I would have like for you to come quietly with me. I guess I have no choice.” He said as he pulled a sonic screwdriver at you.

You recognized the sonic screwdriver as John’s. You felt sudden fear for John. “What did you do? Doctor, what did you do to him?”

He snapped his fingers as the Tardis door suddenly opened. “Go ahead. He’s in there.”

You were hesitate at first but at the mention of John, you quickly went inside. You saw John on the Tardis floor, groaning in pain. “John!” You called out as you bend your knees near him. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Tears started to fell from your cheeks again.

“(name), run…” John whispered at you.

The Doctor went inside the Tardis but remaining standing on the doorway. He gazed at both you and John flatly.

“What did you do to him?” You demanded.

“Oh, I just reverse him. Your husband will turn into a yogurt again soon.” The Doctor chuckled cruelly. “Funny that, yogurt…”

“Stop it! Just stop it! What do you want?!” You yelled.

“I told you what I want, (name).”

“What could you possibly want from me? Why are you doing this?”

He hummed. “You were always so loyal to me, (name). Back when I was sand-shoes, he treated you badly and still you stayed throughout his remaining life. You also stayed for me despite having a hard time to accept that I am still the Doctor, despite knowing what River is to me. That’s why I allowed you to save him. That’s why I allowed you to leave me for him. You deserve better.” He said as he moved toward you, kneeling before you and cupped your face. “The first face this face saw… You are very dear to me, (name). I thought I could give you the same thing sand-shoes gave Rose. But now I realized I couldn’t just let you go.” He sighed. “The Dream Lord is right to warn you, (name), should have run from me. And now, I can’t just let you go any longer.”

“Doctor, please…don’t do this.”

The Doctor released you and stand up moving away from you. “So, I’m going to give you a choice, stay with me and I save your yogurt husband or refused me and well, he’s yogurt…but I will still take you with me anyway.” He chuckled. “Not much a choice I guess.”

You glared hatefully at him. You turned to John in sorrow. “Fine. You win. Save him and I will go with you. But you have to leave him alone. No turning him back into a ganger.”

“Deal.” The Doctor grinned boyishly at you. You used to love that grin but now all you felt is hollow. He raised a hand toward you.

“Please let me say goodbye to him first.”

He rolled his eyes. “Fine. Make it quick.”

John groaned as the Doctor sonic-ed him into a stable condition. “(name), what did you do?”

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry.” You whispered to him. “I have to go with him.”

John’s eyes widened in fear. “No, (name), he is not himself. He is dangerous.”

“I know, I have no choice. He will turned you back into a ganger otherwise. Can he really do that?”

John nodded in forlorn. “Unfortunately we are smart enough to do that.”

The Doctor snorted at that.

You glared at him, demanding privacy and to your surprise, he did leave. You turned back to John. “At this rate, you have to become the Doctor that the world needs, John. He told me about the resistance.”

“I’m sorry. I was careless. He found out.”

You shook your head. “Then you have to be better, John. You have to. You are so much more than him.” You said as you caressed his cheek lovingly. “I love you.”

John pulled you close and kissed you.

“Alright, that’s enough.” The Doctor said.

You reluctantly stood up and leave John to stand by the Doctor’s side. You glanced at the Doctor. “Give me your words that you will not harm him ever again.”

“I promise as long as you stay with me, John Noble will be safe.”

You watched as the Doctor moved around the console, readying the Tardis for take off, leaving John behind.

7777

He acted too hard to be like the way it was before, pretending to be the Doctor and his companion traveling the universe, except the universe hates him now. And to you, he was no longer your friend or the man you used to loved. You yearned to be with John but you know you can’t. 

He started acting like he was John. He took you on a date night, gave you chocolate and flowers. You played along to his whims, dressed in his chosen dress, dance with him and let him kiss you. Thankfully, he didn’t demand you to have sex with him. You couldn’t cope otherwise. But he made you sleep in the same bed as him in a room he choose to be yours and his now.

He took you out sightseeing so many times. He even took you to a villain gala. You didn’t even know that was a thing. You felt sick how the guests of that ball greeted the Doctor as if he is the star of the show or something. It was there you first met Missy. The Doctor introduced her to you and told you that Missy is actually Mistress, another name for the Master. You can hardly believe that the Doctor is actually in a good speaking term with the Master, the man that used to torture the previous Doctor back on the Valiant during the year that never was.

Missy recognized you and predictably mocked you and your situation. You were furious when you learned she is the reason why John got caught by the Doctor. But it’s not like you can do anything to her. You were mad and you left the Doctor’s side. You refused to be taken to this sort of party. Despite angry at you for disobeying, he agreed not to take you to a villain gala again.

“I meant I know you are always so attached with your pets, Doctor, but this is ridiculous. Sooner or later, you will lose her too, she is only human after all.” You heard Missy said to the Doctor.

The dark expression that crossed his feature made you really, really nervous.

7777

You pleaded the Doctor not to force immortality on you but he ignored you. 

With the help of Missy, the Doctor got his hand on a drug or some technology that can prolong your life. He insisted to make you immortal just like Jack. He said he didn’t want to lose you. He said he won’t let anyone take you from him. Honestly, he made you very afraid.

And then he took you to a planet called Trenzalore where he released Gallifrey upon the universe. He didn’t care that the planet got burn in the fight between Gallifrey and its enemies. With the help of the Doctor, if you can even called him that anymore, Gallifrey won. The Doctor was given a new set of regeneration as a reward from Rassilion. He thanked him for the reward and then proceed to kill him, proclaiming himself as the new president of Gallifrey.

After getting what he wanted from Gallifrey, he left the planet alone and took you back into the Tardis.

You couldn’t believe him. He just do all those cruel things without blinking, not an ounce of remorse in him. Was the Doctor truly lost forever? And this man, he still claimed to be the Doctor, undoing the real Doctor’s life work by turning everything upside down and burn down everything good. He found glee in soiling the name 'Doctor’.

And yet what it is with his obsession with you? He never care about you to that point before. Missy eventually explained what being the first face an incarnation saw meant. You finally got what you wanted, a special place in the Doctor’s hearts, but why does it has to be like this?

Missy offered you a way to escape but you were suspicious about her intention. “Frankly I don’t care whether you stay with the Doctor or not as long as you and him continue to provide me with entertainment. Sure, I could help you escape him without him ever knowing I help you. But you should know, he would never stop searching for you if you do. He would even burn planet after planet just to get to you. It would be fun to watch, well, for me anyway.” She said.

How can you tried to escape when the price of freedom is other planet and its people dying because of you? You are not a martyr but even so you are not that selfish. And so you stayed by his side, trying your best to rein him in when possible. You learned he is willing to be merciful in your presence. You took full advantage of it in hope to save some.

You thought of John. He was your only hope. You hope he could somehow save the world but if he can’t, you can only hope he will be okay wherever he is. As you thought of your immortality, you couldn’t help but cry. You were supposed to grow old with John. You don’t even know how many years has passed since last you saw him.

7777

Hope resurfaced within you when you heard news about John being active in resistance, outsmarting the Doctor in his scheme. You only found out because the Doctor lost his marble after being outsmarted by John. 

“I should have turn him back into a yogurt…” He said begrudgingly.

You glared at him. “You made a promise to me, don’t you dare break it.”

“Given the chance, you would have run back to him, wouldn’t you? Perhaps I should make sure that you won’t have anyone to return to but me.” He said with a cruel smirk.

“I am here with you as you wanted. Don’t you dare harm John.”

“Fine, I won’t.” He said but the look in his eyes made you suspicious.

“You are not allowed to scheme against him!”

“Oh, my dearest (name), don’t you worry about me hurting that yogurt husband of yours. I won’t need to lift a finger against him. I know someone who would very much like to do it.” He said. “She has always hated my old-self. She would probably have as much fun as me to rile him up. John Noble, the stand-in Doctor.”

You realized he was talking about Missy. You froze in fear. “No, make her stop.”

“No one can stop Missy once she set her eyes on something. She has always been stubborn especially when it comes to me.” He said with a smirk. “But, hey, don’t worry, John is basically me, right? He will do fine.”

“I hate you.” You said.

His smirk faltered.

You turned around and left him in the console room.

7777

You were forced to watch another planet he conquered just because of boredom. He proclaimed himself as King and you his Queen. It was all very stupid, in your opinion. He made you wear a stupid crown proclaiming that crowns are cool. When he said that, you just remembered the old Doctor who kept telling everyone how bow-ties or fezzes are cool. It made you miss the Doctor terribly.

This version of the Doctor, once in a while, made you wondered if the old Doctor still resides within him deep inside but then whenever he did, he would started acting up and did something horrible to someone else as if making up for showing weakness.

You were once attacked by a member of resistance. You thought they hope to hurt the Doctor by killing you. But by then, you were already turned as an immortal by the Doctor. The Doctor was so furious and there is nothing you can do to make him show mercy. He lets loose the oncoming storm toward those who conspire against him in retaliation. After that, once you were both at your room, he would hug you tight and won’t let go as if he is fearing that you will disappear. It made you think how lonely and sad he must be. You hugged him back. 

He tricked you into marrying him, dangling the fate of a planet to do it. “I’m going to give you something that John didn’t.” You were very confused with what he meant. “I’m going to give you my name.”

Your eyes widened in shock. River is the only one who know his name before. Why is he doing this? What was the point? You were very frustrated. “John Noble is the only name that matter to me.” You said.

He ignored you, forcing you instead to follow some Gallifreyan ritual.

“Smile for the camera, dearest (name).” The Doctor whispered to you. “I’m sure that yogurt husband of yours is watching us got married live.”

You recoiled from him but he made a firm grab of you to keep in position as he finished the ritual.

You heard Missy made a quip about how cruel the Doctor is to you. _Well, duh._ But apparently, she meant the ritual because the ritual forced a mental bond to form between you and the Doctor. You might be immortal but you were not made for a mental bond.

“She will learn to adapt with it.” You heard the Doctor said. “We have forever to do it.”

Honestly you hated these mental bond. You have no privacy even in your own mind. He likes to invade your mind and take a look of your memories. You screamed at him to leave you alone. You wanted to cry. You are losing your mind and he know it. Thankfully he relents and left your mind alone for the most part.

7777

One day, while the Doctor is out with Missy, John appeared on board the Tardis and he gave you a small gemstone and told you to hold it close on your person. He said he knew what the Doctor did to you and that gemstone could stop him from invading your mind, blocking him so to speak.

You were happy to see him but also scared. He told you not to worry about him. He said he went back to Gallifrey and now he is as much as a real Time Lord as the Doctor. He said the Doctor can no longer turned him into a ganger so you need not to worry anymore. You can come home with him.

At first you are reluctant, worrying about what Missy had said about the Doctor never stop looking for you if you escape and will burn everything in his path in order to get to you. You are also worry for John himself should the Doctor figure out wherever you escaped to.

But John make a convincing argument and so you took his hand and left the Tardis.

Only to find out John is not real. It was always the Doctor, trying to test your devotion and you failed the test.

“You wanted to see John so much? Fine, I will let you see him.” The Doctor said angrily.

The Tardis landed somewhere. The Doctor pulled you harshly outside where he forced you to see a gravestone. John’s name is craved on the gravestone.

You were shocked to say the least. With a trembling fingers, you touched the carving of his name on the gravestone.

“I didn’t harm him, if that is what your thinking. Missy didn’t either. He died. The people he fought for turned against him and killed him.”

“No, you are lying!”

“Am I? You are welcome to investigate his death, (name). You know Jack Harkness, don’t you? I’m sure he will help you with your investigation. Once you satisfy your curiosity, come and find me.” The Doctor said.

7777

You were furious. The Doctor didn’t lie. They did turned against John. They killed him. The best part of the Doctor, and they thoughtlessly killed him. And now the world is doomed forever with the Doctor that no longer quite the Savior. Frankly, right now you no longer care about the fate of these people.

You walked absentmindedly toward the coordinate of the Tardis which your darling husband helpfully put into your mind. 

The Doctor watched you as you entered the Tardis. “Welcome home, (name).”

“I’m home…” You replied blankly.

_A/N: I have no idea what I write here. I was desperate to produce a new dw fanfic since I only have a day left of holiday before going back to work, hoping not to waste my time just imagining and no writing, I finally able to write this. I watched a few of my favorite dw episodes and my mind ended up get stuck in the idea of ganger!doctor hence this happened._

_I hope you likes this story and if you do, please kindly drop comment and more. Honestly I’m so nervous about posting this._


End file.
